Happy How To Response If Your Toddler Says One Loathe You
December 11, 2018
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A few months agone my toddler went through a stage where he was constantly proverb "I abhor you." My toddler has ever been super sweetness together with lovey dovey thus this novel linguistic communication was a chip surprising.
Just similar whatever annoying toddler stage similar hitting, running away, or throwing things... I knew it would pass... but I also knew that how I reacted to what he said would decide how before long he would displace through it.
Most toddlers don't genuinely know what they are proverb when they say, "I abhor you." They are simply repeating a phrase that they've heard together with oftentimes they've recognized that the phrase is a powerful 1 together with gets a proficient reaction, thus they repeat it.
With whatever inapropriate language or negative linguistic communication inwards our house, I effort my best to ignore the words without ignoring my child. I remain calm together with I don't react. I effort non to possess got the bait together with engage inwards a ability combat or an emotional conversation most the words. If I give every bit good much attending to the words past times proverb "hate is a bad word" or react inwards a big or emotional agency when he says it, my boy volition piece of occupation the words to a greater extent than together with to a greater extent than because he knows they are powerful together with teach a proficient reaction. I also effort together with encourage my older kids to ignore the toddler's words together with focuses on other things... otherwise they reinforce the linguistic communication fifty-fifty if I am ignoring it!
Acknowledging emotions is my "go to" strategy for most toddler challenges, particularly tantrums. Instead of responding to the words "I abhor you," I effort together with answer to a greater extent than to the emotions behind the words. For example, if I won't allow my toddler ride his cycle together with he says "I abhor you," together with thus I'll answer together with say, "I tin tell you lot are upset (or mad)! You desire to ride your bike. We tin ride bikes afterward nosotros possess got dinner (or whatever the innovation is)."
Acknowledging feelings oftentimes simply stops simply about of those big emotions from bubbling over together with exploding. I don't teach into an declaration saying, "You know you lot don't abhor me" or "that's non true."
If my toddler is simply upset inwards full general over nix specific together with chooses to say, "I abhor you" every bit his reaction, I volition simply focus on giving back upward together with and thus typically redirect or displace onto doing something else. By focusing on the feeling words instead of "hate" I possess got a chip of the attending off of that word.
I ever effort together with answer to "I abhor you" past times saying, "I withal dearest you" or "I volition ever dearest you, fifty-fifty when you lot are mad at me."
Instead of repeating the discussion "hate," I effort together with give my kids additional words to piece of occupation to limited themselves that are to a greater extent than descriptive together with limited their emotions a footling chip better.
You are mad at me
You are upset
You are feeling sad
You are feeling angry
You didn't similar that I...
You wanted to...
Often giving kids the appropriate words to explicate how they are feeling tin aid them portion their feelings better. As you lot do this you lot volition honour your kid uses to a greater extent than accurate linguistic communication instead of simply using hurtful "I abhor yous"!
When all else fails, simply cry upward that it is simply a stage together with your toddler volition displace through it!
Just similar whatever annoying toddler stage similar hitting, running away, or throwing things... I knew it would pass... but I also knew that how I reacted to what he said would decide how before long he would displace through it.
Today I'm going to portion how I answer when my toddler says, "I abhor you."
Most toddlers don't genuinely know what they are proverb when they say, "I abhor you." They are simply repeating a phrase that they've heard together with oftentimes they've recognized that the phrase is a powerful 1 together with gets a proficient reaction, thus they repeat it.
Here are the ways I answer when my toddler says, "I abhor you."
1. Ignore the words
With whatever inapropriate language or negative linguistic communication inwards our house, I effort my best to ignore the words without ignoring my child. I remain calm together with I don't react. I effort non to possess got the bait together with engage inwards a ability combat or an emotional conversation most the words. If I give every bit good much attending to the words past times proverb "hate is a bad word" or react inwards a big or emotional agency when he says it, my boy volition piece of occupation the words to a greater extent than together with to a greater extent than because he knows they are powerful together with teach a proficient reaction. I also effort together with encourage my older kids to ignore the toddler's words together with focuses on other things... otherwise they reinforce the linguistic communication fifty-fifty if I am ignoring it!
2. Acknowledge his feelings
Acknowledging emotions is my "go to" strategy for most toddler challenges, particularly tantrums. Instead of responding to the words "I abhor you," I effort together with answer to a greater extent than to the emotions behind the words. For example, if I won't allow my toddler ride his cycle together with he says "I abhor you," together with thus I'll answer together with say, "I tin tell you lot are upset (or mad)! You desire to ride your bike. We tin ride bikes afterward nosotros possess got dinner (or whatever the innovation is)."
Acknowledging feelings oftentimes simply stops simply about of those big emotions from bubbling over together with exploding. I don't teach into an declaration saying, "You know you lot don't abhor me" or "that's non true."
If my toddler is simply upset inwards full general over nix specific together with chooses to say, "I abhor you" every bit his reaction, I volition simply focus on giving back upward together with and thus typically redirect or displace onto doing something else. By focusing on the feeling words instead of "hate" I possess got a chip of the attending off of that word.
3. Say I dearest you
I ever effort together with answer to "I abhor you" past times saying, "I withal dearest you" or "I volition ever dearest you, fifty-fifty when you lot are mad at me."
4. Give choice words/language.
Instead of repeating the discussion "hate," I effort together with give my kids additional words to piece of occupation to limited themselves that are to a greater extent than descriptive together with limited their emotions a footling chip better.
You are mad at me
You are upset
You are feeling sad
You are feeling angry
You didn't similar that I...
You wanted to...
Often giving kids the appropriate words to explicate how they are feeling tin aid them portion their feelings better. As you lot do this you lot volition honour your kid uses to a greater extent than accurate linguistic communication instead of simply using hurtful "I abhor yous"!
When all else fails, simply cry upward that it is simply a stage together with your toddler volition displace through it!
Do you lot possess got whatever other ways you lot answer to a toddler who says, "I abhor you?"
