The Cease Is Nigh
January 23, 2016
Edit
1/22/16 7:10 AM PST
The National Weather Service has issued the next warning: The cease of the basis is here. Buying bottled H2O at The Walmart volition non help you. Please curvature over, position your caput betwixt your legs as well as snog your donkey goodbye. Nearby areas are reporting herds of panicked lemmings swarming grocery stores to buy the final tin of lima beans. Some drivers bring begun running their cars into ditches earlier the snowfall falls to acquire a jump on the crowds. A snowflake was spotted inwards western Virginia, causing 37 pump assail related fatalities as well as i intelligence helicopter crash. If you lot bring a god, pray to him now. If not, you lot may desire to discovery one, at that spot are many to select from. Atheists may locomote out quietly from the dorsum of the bus, at that spot are no farther instructions for you. Others should immediately make peace amongst your enemies, hug your children as well as delight calmly hold off for the end. You are good as well as genuinely fucked. Be certain to rest tuned for the novel Martha Stewart especial "What I Ate With Oprah In the Apocalypse".
My assigned "Motorcycle Parking" spot volition remain empty today. I visit myself a pretty hardcore commuter, but fifty-fifty I bring my limit, which is commonly when snowfall begins sticking to the roadways as well as the primal Virginia public of driving doofuses offset crashing into everything. I received an e-mail at run yesterday reminding me to "wear boots amongst expert traction on snowfall as well as ice" as well as I realized but how far nosotros bring sunk every bit a country, species, whatever.
By coddling all the morons as well as idiots out at that spot it ensures that stupidity is the novel norm. It flies inwards the facial expression upwards of development as well as guarantees that the planet volition locomote overrun amongst simpletons eating, shitting as well as breeding until all resources are wiped out. Our communication has been reduced to a serial of grunts as well as 3 alphabetic quality texts OMG! We alive inwards a novel basis where all the corners are rounded, floors as well as walls padded. We are devolving into something worse than animals, because at to the lowest degree they bring survival instincts.
Hence i of the appealing things nearly motorcycles, they exercise non endure fools for really long. While I would never wishing dice or injury on a beau rider, at that spot is too no slumber lost over approximately retard who met his maker spell trying to 12 o'clock on the interstate (other than the fact that it makes us all expect bad). The motorcyclist who refuses to learn, adjust as well as locomote aware is non long for this world. Riding is i of the final truthful refuges of responsibleness left to our beingness inwards the modern void. And responsibleness agency freedom.
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| Not today quondam friend |